wumpuses
So long and thanks for all the fish.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

paradigms
Me: UGH I HATE THE WORD PARADIGMS
Me: if i hear someone up here use it one more time ill strangle them to death with my own hands
Johnny Idaho: better yet, strangle them to death with their own hands!
Me: YES
Me: I LIKE YOUR THINKING IDAHO
Johnny Idaho: just invert the death by strangling paradigm
Me: goddamn!@!!@
Chili Cookoff Vegetarian Protest

Chili Cookoff Vegetarian Protest

Results of the Chili Cookoff Contest, courtesy of our resident vegetarian, M. Randa

Results of the Chili Cookoff Contest, courtesy of our resident vegetarian, M. Randa

a daze of stupefaction
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): hello slave
Me: ministress!
Me: what a terrifying surprise
Me: so thoroughly have you shattered my sanity with your unexpected arrival that I will trapeze through the month of october in a daze of stupefaction
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): as well you should
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): i have heard that we are approaching your birthday
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): is this true?
Me: it is so, the date of my manufacture
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): are you planning some sort of celebration
Me: I plan to sit in a circle of bloodied rocks at the summit of a mountaintop after spending three excruciating weeks fasting whilst I wait for the vision of our Unnameable Lord and Master to impart upon me forsaken and unspeakable wisdoms
fair and equitable
Me: ministress now that I have your email, I can send you picures of cats all day
Me: by the catload
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): haha
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): if you must
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): then i shall punish you with millions of cat scratches
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): in proportion to your level of spam
Me: I find that fair and equitable
Ministress of Tasks (since deposed): i don't care what you find fair
Me: And that fact, Ministress, makes me feel at home in the cruel, unfeeling world
the truth is often painful
Me: ugh i just got an email from the mean girl i'm trying to make go away
Me: people have said just ignore her, but i refuse to do that
Me: it's so cowardly...
Me: OH I KNOW! I'LL HAVE YOU KILL HER!
Me: gosh how could i forget when I have a roving FEMBOT at my fingertips?
OX: I WILL USE LENS FLARES
Me: YES
OX: it wasn't obvious to her that you weren't interested?
Me: I KNOW, i don't contact her or anything...
Me: i ignored her texts
OX: and that is quite gentlemanly of you to not ignore her to her face
OX: /not being cowardly
OX: can't you just say - hey, I don't think we get a long that great
OX: or hey, I just think you're strange
OX: or hey, I just hated being with you
OX: you know, any of those will suffice ;)!
Me: maybe: "I'm not quite sure why you want to keep seeing me, seeing as how I'd rather drown my head in a bucket than endure your pretentious yammering."
Me: or perhaps: "I'd rather have my front teeth pulled out by a tractor than sit through another dinner while words come out of your mouth."
OX: oh yes, I love yours so much more
OX: the truth is often painful
OX: people would rather go through life with their heads bubbled up with lies
Me: or stuffed up their butts
As I meet new people

I realize I am far saner than I thought.

You should never go on a blind date to a cemetery. That has naive written all over it.
Jake Rainis
Sanzone Hunting Suit
Captain Planet: http://www.retronaut.co/2012/07/siberian-bear-hunting-armour-c-1800s/
Captain Planet: that's actually a sanzone hunting suit
Me: WANT
this is what dating is like

this is what dating is like

This is how I feel.

This is how I feel.