December 2011
17 posts
ungrateful teenager girls
Captain Planet: middle school dances man
Captain Planet: some girls tried to come on to me
Captain Planet: but i had no idea how to react
Captain Planet: that happend throughout middle school to me
Captain Planet: one time i tried to come on to a girl in middle school
Captain Planet: in the stairwell
Highlander Shane: girls did the leg move and your were baffled?
Captain Planet: i told her i had a 6 pack and showed her
Highlander Shane: showed her what!?!?!?
Captain Planet: MY SIX PACK
Captain Planet: IT WAS WEIRD
Highlander Shane: sounds smooooth
Highlander Shane: what did she do?
Captain Planet: she ran away and giggled i think
Highlander Shane: haha
Highlander Shane: awe, poor romo
Captain Planet: excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for being proud of my six pack
Highlander Shane: Right!?
Highlander Shane: ungrateful teenager girls
“I would plant bananas in Alaska if a client asked me.”
– Evil Jimbo 3.0, from the Jim Baltikaukas Millennial Retrospective
a very active imagination
Me: ministress
Ministress of Tasks: slave
Me: if i saw off my hands will i be able to escape writing copy for [INSERT BORING CLIENT] forever
Ministress of Tasks: no
Ministress of Tasks: you must learn to type with your nose
Ministress of Tasks: then, once you've mastered that, I may allow you to grow tentacles
Me: alas i suspected that would be my fate
Me: can we buy [INSERT BORING CLIENT] and then bankrupct them so i never have to write copy for them ever again?
Ministress of Tasks: no
Ministress of Tasks: i enjoy how much it makes you suffer to do their horrible writing
Ministress of Tasks: that is your sole purpose in this life
Me: oh i have another request, your Supreme Horribleness
Ministress of Tasks: feel free to make it
Ministress of Tasks: i will most likely refuse you
Me: do you recall when you granted me an intern for life yesterday in recompense for my loyal servitude to you?
Me: well i have selected my intern
Ministress of Tasks: no
Ministress of Tasks: i do not remember that at all
Me: no to my choice? why i can choose another
Me: i promise i will not name it Katie
Ministress of Tasks: i did not grant you an intern for life
Ministress of Tasks: as that may ease your burdens
Ministress of Tasks: and i do not want that
Ministress of Tasks: i'd like your burdens to increase until you can barely drag yourself through a day
Me: oh perhaps when I heard intern for life I mistook what you actually said, which was "i will be making cupcakes for you soon, what would you like?"
Ministress of Tasks: you, slave, have a very active imagination
just slightly less murderous
Me: ministress
Ministress of Tasks: slave
Me: for some time I have hidden away the contemplation of your departure to heavenly Europe where everything is free and people go on vacation for ten years at a time, but the time grows nigh
Ministress of Tasks: you must stop hiding
Me: is it true ministress!?
Me: will you become like Saruman and take up residence in the Shire of Germany!
Ministress of Tasks: there is no truth
Ministress of Tasks: only reality as i see it
Me: that is an important clarification
Ministress of Tasks: agreed
Ministress of Tasks: i will be in Germany for a short time
Ministress of Tasks: long enough to conquer and subjugate
Ministress of Tasks: then i shall return
Me: oh so you will return to us?
Ministress of Tasks: yes
Ministress of Tasks: in order to keep control here
Me: that is nice, and it has the added benefit of trepidation in not knowing when you will make your hideous return
Ministress of Tasks: yes
Ministress of Tasks: i hope to catch some of my underlings in disobedient acts
Ministress of Tasks: i was too benevolent over this holiday season
Ministress of Tasks: and must reassert my dominance through terror
Me: did you become "jolly" like that intolerable obese red overlord from the frigid nether realms?
Ministress of Tasks: of course not
Ministress of Tasks: just slightly less murderous
Me: how terrible! i will order an extra pack of orphan years this week
Me: you will be in ship shape murdering order in no time
Ministress of Tasks: thank you slave
Ministress of Tasks: that is kind of you
you just about done with your stroke?
Me: lkjkjlhlhlh
Me: nnmnmn
Me: oooooooooooo
Me: [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
Me: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Me: sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Me: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcccccccccccccccccccccvvvvvv
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Davidium: you just about done with your stroke?
Me: yes
“The only class we have is CSS.”
– Carlos the Robot Master
RealTalk
Rob C (formerly Johnny Idaho): i need to call it a day. i just called FaceTime RealTalk
“He had me at HTML.”
– DQ, on making a decision on the basis of the quality of the owner’s website
“All’s good and well when it’s in HTML.”
– Carlos the Robot Master
“Wouldn’t it be cool if we could go display: none?”
– Roman Lojko, aka Captain Planet, savior of our aging whore of a planet
