desecration of my coffee cup
The Ministress of Tasks: slave
The Ministress of Tasks: did you have something to do with the desecration of my coffee cup?
Me: hello Exquisite Maker of My Multifaceted Dooms
Me: your coffee cup, by "coffee cup" do you mean a receptacle of liquids?
The Ministress of Tasks: yes
The Ministress of Tasks: i do
Me: or do you mean, "coffee cup" as in, that goblet out of which you sup the blood of orphans?
The Ministress of Tasks: that too
The Ministress of Tasks: same thing
Me: now by "desecrate," do you mean deface in a way that would impair your magnificence?
The Ministress of Tasks: yes, i do
Me: or do you mean, "plant a cactus"
The Ministress of Tasks: not that
The Ministress of Tasks: as far as i can tell, there is no cactus planted in my cup.
Me: now I must ask:
Me: by "something to do with" do you mean, did I travel backwards in time to the precise moment of your arrival, discover this cup you speak of, and tamper with it in some unspeakable manner?
The Ministress of Tasks: no
The Ministress of Tasks: i mean, did you take advantage of my momentary absence from this realm in order to deface something beloved and treasured, thereby invoking my wrath upon my return
Me: why certainly, ministress, if I were to have embarked on such an endeavor, the latter half of your sentence would not be my intention, so I would have to say no, I did not
The Ministress of Tasks: i ask not of your intentions, but only of your actions
Me: this "desecrate" verb disturbs me; now suppose I had handled this mug you describe
Me: I wouldn't call such handling "desecrate," per se
Me: I might call it "gently manipulating for some superior purpose"
The Ministress of Tasks: well, whoever did this handling left a mark upon it that cannot be removed
Me: impossible!
Me: can you describe this mark?
The Ministress of Tasks: letters
The Ministress of Tasks: that say
The Ministress of Tasks: "Oh the Places I've Been"
The Ministress of Tasks: a very clever play on the beloved Dr. Seuss
Me: but ministress, such words, were they affixed by a sticky label?
Me: if I may venture a guess
The Ministress of Tasks: aha!
The Ministress of Tasks: it WAS you
Me: well now now, let's not jump to conclusions
The Ministress of Tasks: are you telling me what to do?!
Me: oh of course not ministress!
Me: I am merely supposing that such a conclusion is the only logical one to arrive at, should letters have found themselves on your drinking device
Me: do you not find this letter vandalist clever for having used Dr. Seuss as his method of defacement?
The Ministress of Tasks: no
The Ministress of Tasks: i thought you were doing it
Me: if i were to imagine myself the culprit, I imagine I would first like to know which limb i'd be losing
Me: before i confessed
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